Dorothy Conley, my longtime student and friend, passed away on February 9. She was 76. We were together 17 years. Not a very good track record for a tutor, you might think, but Dorothy and I had a special relationship. Dorothy had Cerebral Palsy and spent most of her life in institutions (50 years) in New York where she’s from until a worker there sprung her and brought her to San Francisco in August, 1987. I had just finished my tutor training that same August and was hooked up with Dorothy in October. She said she went through school until the fifth grade and sure enough when I tested her, she tested out at the 5th grade level. A bright woman, Dorothy quickly advanced in her reading ability. But as her skills increased, her physical abilities decreased. So I continued to see Dorothy in her Tenderloin apartment to read to her: pay her bills, and order dolls for her which she loved to collect. We also entered magazine contests but those became a major bone of contention, especially when she gave money to a fraudulent group who said she “won” and demanded money from her to redeem her prize.
Dorothy didn’t want the big prize money for herself so much as to give to her less fortunate friends. And that was what Dorothy was all about – helping those less fortunate than herself. This from a woman who was shunned by her family and institutionalized at an early age. A woman who spent her entire life in a wheelchair. A woman with hands so crippled she could barely use the wheelchair controls. A woman who stuttered. A woman who was plopped down from a life in institutions into the bustling world of the Tenderloin and learned to make her way.
Dorothy grew and because of her, so did I. After getting lost any number of times, Dorothy finally learned her way around the neighborhood. She made friends easily and people were protective of her. She hung out with her friends at the Civic Center’s weekly markets. She lived life going to plays, the opera and symphony with various friends. She even carried the torch for the Olympics in Atlanta. She would go to the annual Project read Christmas party where she inevitably always won a door prize. She became politically involved with handicap issues and won an award from the United Way.
She taught me to always, always have a positive outlook on life. She taught me patience. She brought into my life a world I would have never known. She was my friend.
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